Some Thoughts on Gay Marriage

I recently heard an amusing anecdote about a young Orthodox man who, leaving his apartment building one morning, was approached to sign a petition in support of legalizing gay marriage. He politely declined. As he walked away, the petitioner shouted after him, "but...you're Jewish!"

There is no question that American Jews overwhelmingly support liberal causes, including the movement to legalize homosexual marriage. While Jews can justify their commitments to expanding government-sponsored social services, providing assistance to the underprivileged, reforming health care, and protecting the environment as consistent with the teachings of Judaism, it is much more difficult for them to reconcile support for gay marriage with our tradition. 

After all, our holiest text, the Torah, prohibits homosexual behavior and labels it a "toevah", often translated as "an abomination". This statement does not appear to allow much room for persuasive reinterpretation. Ironically, though, a sizable number of Jews, many of them observant, are outspoken in favor of what has come to be termed "marriage equality".

Speaking personally, I am inclined to believe that the United States government should refrain from any involvement in the definition of marriage, dealing only with civil unions and leaving the protection of the sanctity of the family to religious organizations. As one who opposes gay marriage for religious reasons, however, I often find myself on the defensive in a culture that now embraces homosexuality as mainstream.

Since my convictions are based upon the Torah, this means that I am frequently called upon to justify what is seen as the Torah's antiquated and biased attitude toward homosexuals. And being that the subject matter is especially timely right now, I would like to take this opportunity to offer a philosophical explanation of why the Torah forbids homosexual conduct. I hope that this will convince the reader that, contrary to popular belief, one can oppose homosexual marriage without being bigoted, ignorant, discriminatory or homophobic. 

Let us go what I think is the root of the controversy: the term “abomination”. In Hebrew, the word is “toevah”, and this term is applied not only to homosexuality but to an array of forbidden activities, including incest, the consumption of non-kosher food, adultery and idolatry. The Talmud was troubled by the meaning of “toevah” and translated it as a composite of two Hebrew words “toeh bah” – literally, “one who does this errs therein”.

In the eyes of the Talmud, then, contrary to the pronouncements of many a Bible-thumping evangelist, the term “toevah” does not imply a passionate distaste for the act described. The word is lacking any emotive content. No feelings of visceral disgust or homophobic fears are being evoked. “Toevah” simply means that one who performs the act in question is making a serious philosophical mistake. 

Now, we can see why this would be the case for an idolater who replaces the Almighty with a pathetic graven image. But why is the loving relationship between two men classified as “toevah”? What error can be seen or imputed here?

  

 The answer to this question is a critically important one. The purpose of the Torah is to ennoble human beings by teaching them to transcend their base instincts and strive for spiritual growth. Indulgence in food is limited by the laws of kashrut, which remind us that eating is not an end in itself; it is a means to keeping our bodies healthy so that we can involve ourselves in learning, the pursuit of justice and acts of kindness.

Similarly, sexual activity is not an end in itself; it is a means to the creation of family and the perpetuation of the Jewish people and the human race. One who attributes intrinsic significance to sexual behavior puts it on a pedestal it does not deserve and commits a grave error about the place it should occupy in our minds, hearts and lives.

By limiting the context within which sexual needs are satisfied – namely, the context of heterosexual marriage, which is the bedrock of the family - the Torah reminds us of the fact that the satisfaction of these needs is not an end unto itself. 

(The objection may be raised that some heterosexual couples have fertility problems and cannot have children. Moreover, it is clear that not all acts of intercourse eventuate in reproduction. The answer to these objections is as follows: As Maimonides explains, the Torah addresses the universal, general and typical with its legislation. The laws of the Torah, like the laws of nature, are categorical and abstract and are not specially crafted to fit each and every particular circumstance. In this case, in order to make its overarching point, the Torah limits sexual activity to a certain type of relationship - the relationship instrumental to procreation - notwithstanding the fact that there are some specific and/or exceptional cases in which the reason behind the general law might not seem to apply.)

The Torah teaches that the belief that sexual relations have some worth beyond that of perpetuating the species is a toevah, a fundamental mistake. And the Torah classifies homosexuality as one of many ways in which people make more out of sexuality than it is meant to be - severing it from its procreative function and celebrating it as a source of erotic pleasure or as an expression of romantic love in its own right. 

Put simply, one who raises the means of human sexuality to the level of an end is committing an error of Biblical proportions.

 In summary, I remain opposed to the homosexual lifestyle on philosophical but not personal grounds. I do not feel the slightest distaste, disgust or disdain for homosexuals or for the desires they have. I see them as created in the image of God and entitled to the same rights and respect as their fellow men and women. I also recognize and appreciate the fact that, for the most part, their inclinations and preferences are biologically determined and not a matter of free choice. 

Nevertheless, I still maintain that by transcending these desires, by insisting that the significance of the sexual drive in our lives be understood properly and that its value not be overestimated or exaggerated, they achieve and represent the highest level of holiness to which human beings can aspire.